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Posts Tagged ‘ego’

Cinta dan Pernikahan

Orang sering keliru mengartikan cinta dan pernikahan.

Saat cinta dan pernikahan disalah artikan maka yang terjadi adalah MALAPETAKA.

Cinta sering diartikan sebagai tindakan menerima ataupun memberi untuk mendapatkan kembali dengan ukuran yang ditentukan oleh sang penerima.

Berapa banyak pernikahan yang katanya berlandaskan cinta harus kandas ditengah jalan karena masing-masing pihak saling menuntut hak mereka untuk menerima ataupun tidak merasa puas karena merasa bahwa pasangannya BELUM memberikan HAK mereka. Bahkan ada pihak-pihak yang merasa diri benar saat menuntut hingga merampas hal yang bukan semestinya menjadi Hak mereka. Sungguh menyedihkan dan terdengar sangat EGOIS. Lalu dimanakah CINTA? Apakah Egoisme adalah wajah dari Cinta yang sesungguhnya? Jika memang benar demikian siapa yang butuh dan mau dengan Cinta yang sedemikian.

Bagaimana dengan tindakan memaafkan dan menerima orang lain sebagaimana adanya lalu mencari jalan keluar untuk dapat menyesuaikan diri antara satu dengan lainnya sehingga terciptalah suatu harmoni. Bukankah Merah dengan Putih tidak akan pernah sama tapi jika dipadukan dengan benar maka akan terciptalah sebuah harmoni dan keindahan? Apakah ini yang dimaksudkan dengan sebuah seni dalam mencintai? Apakah ini wajah Cinta yang sebenarnya? Sebuah kerelaan hati untuk menerima dan memaafkan. Sebuah hati yang terbuka dan bukannya hati yang menuntut. Berapa banyak pernikahan yang dapat bertahan dan bahkan menjadi indah dengan sikap hati yang terbuka ini?

Pernikahan juga sering disalah artikan sebagai suatu SYMBOL bahwa seseorang mempunyai nilai lebih jika sudah menikah dibandingkan dengan yang belum menikah. Berapa banyak orang yang dengan semberono dan terburu-buru untuk segera menikah hanya karena takut dinilai MIRING oleh “masyarakat” disekelilingnya.

Pernikahan juga sering disalah artikan sebagai ajang MENERUSKAN GARIS KETURUNAN. Sehingga orang perlu buru-buru menikah pada usia tertentu hanya karena untuk memenuhi tuntutan meneruskan keturunan.

Berapa banyak pernikahan yang dilakukan dengan terburu-buru ini yang dapat dinikmati oleh orang yang terlibat dalam pernikahan tersebut juga orang lain yang melihatnya? Berapa banyak anak yang harus dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang kurang harmonis dan yang berakhir dengan perceraian? Apakah pernikahan semacam ini adalah idaman setiap orang? Jika tidak lalu mengapa masih banyak orang yang melakukannya tanpa ragu dan berpikir panjang. Lucu bukan? Mengapa juga orang perlu repot-repot menikah jika tidak siap untuk segala konsekuensinya. Bukankan menikah jauh lebih sulit dan penuh tantangan. Menyatukan 2 orang yang berbeda untuk tinggal dibawah satu atap, bukan pekerjaan mudah. Diperlukan banyak perjuangan. Kalau tidak mau repot dan malas untuk berjuang lebih baik tidak perlu menikah. Karena hidup itu untuk dinikmati dan disyukuri dan bukan untuk disesali dan ditangisi.

Jadi, janganlah kiranya kita memberikan arti yang salah pada Cinta dan Pernikahan sehingga hidup kita terhindar dari MALAPETAKA. Karena Tuhan mengarunikakan Cinta dan Pernikahan kepada manusia agar supaya manusia dapat Bersyukur dan menikmatinya sebagai sebuah ANUGERAH. Maknailah cinta dan pernikahan sesuai dengan maksud-Nya agar hidup kita BERUNTUNG dan DIBERKATI dengan melimpah.

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From last week we have learnt of the causes that make us frustrated. We are now to discuss about how to avoid and cure from it.

Let’s now discuss about how to avoid frustration. When we know how to avoid it then we will be able to avoid un-necessary burden in our life.

The first one will be to know about our talent that has been given to us. How do we know this? It’s easy actually. When you find yourself enjoying doing something and you know that you are really good at it then that’s your talent. Don’t waste your time, energy and resources on what you are not really good at but spend more time to polish on what you are really good at.

The second one will be determining an achievable target. By doing this you will find that you live more lively. If you do not have any target you will not reach anything and in the end you find yourself that you have waste your time, opportunity and life. Let yourself to grow step by step, little by little everyday. A little progress everyday will form your future.

Lastly, yep you need not to compare what you have with others, if you like to compete, you just need to compete with yourself.

As for how to cure from frustration, the following will help.

First, you need to realize that each one of us has been created as a unique person by GOD. Therefore, one does not have to bother too much with what one is not really good at but one just need to be happy to be oneself.

Secondly, what you need to do is to give yourself a rest for a while, examining the target in order to be able to adjust it to a more achievable one. Do not push yourself too much and too hard.

Lastly, be happy with those who have been successful, and try to realize that what you need to do is to do your best. The rest will be God’s privilege. Never be little others and never over estimate oneself. One will need to realize that he or she is only an ordinary human being. Only God’s blessing will bring one’s labor successful.

All in all one can pray to God for forgiveness of the blindness that has brought one in a frustrated situation. Give thanks for His blessings. Trust God, and be patient to wait for His time.

Hope this will be a blessing… Have a nice day…

God Love You n Bless You.

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Everyone has his or her dream. Each one of us would want to be regarded as an important person. However, in some instance we also have to remember that we are only human with our own limitations.

The side effect of Frustration will lead one to feel good for nothing and in the end one will dare to kill him or herself. Therefore, it’s important to know on how to avoid and cure yourself from Frustration.

To know how to avoid and cure yourself from Frustration, first we need to learn in the sources of Frustration.

There are 3 main sources of Frustration:

  • Our Dream VS Our Talent
  • Our Target VS Our Ability
  • Our Self VS Others

Our Dream VS Our Talent

We learn that there are people who give suggestion to have a BIG Dream. There’s nothing wrong with this kind of suggestion as long as we know on how to reach it. What I mean by how to reach it is to know your talent. As we know that each one of us has different talent that God has given us. This is the starting point for a person to measure the ability (talent) that he or she has. An honest evaluation of your talent from your friend and family will also count.

One has to remember that talent is not something that can be learnt like a skill but it’s something that you have right from the start when you were born. A suggestion that tells you that you can be anything that you want is a BIG LIE. The TRUTH is that each one of us has his or her own talent.

For example, if one would like to be a singer then he or she has to know if he or she has a good voice when singing. Not everyone has this talent.

Our Target VS Our Ability

A lot of parents usually would like his or her kids to be a Super Kid for the sake of the Parents’ pride. They usually put a high standard that his or her kid has to reach. Such as their kids has to be at least rank 3 in the class. Or the test mark has to be at least 80, lower than that standard is not acceptable. This will give unnecessary pressure to the kids. Besides, it’s even more unfair when that kid’s parents were never rank 3 or even reach 80 on their test mark when they were at school.

This kind of standard is very dangerous and a high school boy has killed himself when he found out that he is rank 8 and not rank 3 like what his parents prefer him to reach.

Ourselves VS Others

When I was at school, I remember one of my junior high friends who like to compare her mark with mine. Whenever she found out that I got a better mark than her then she started to get mad and would not want to talk to me for that whole day. This kind of conduct is very annoying to me so the next time she asked me of my test mark I would simply told her that I have the same mark as her that will stop her from getting mad.

This topic discussion will be continued next week….

Have a nice day…

GBU

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